Social Relationships: The Power of Weak Ties
Strong and Weak Social Ties
Strong and weak ties are part of Social Capital Theory, which refers to the advantages, resources and benefits we gain from our relationships and the network of our connections.
Strong Social Ties are close relationships with people we know well (family, friends, relatives and some colleagues). Frequent interactions, shared history, and everyday experiences characterise strong social ties.
Weak Social Ties are relationships with people we barely know. These are more distant relationships, such as acquaintances, distant colleagues, friendly strangers or friends-of-a-friend. Examples of weak ties may include a neighbour we hardly know, the barista who prepares our coffee or a person we meet on a train. Infrequent interactions and limited knowledge of the person characterise these relationships.
As expected, research has shown that healthy and reliable strong ties are robustly connected to higher academic achievements, greater professional and occupational success, better physical and mental health, improved immune system, reduced risk of coronary heart disease and stroke and even longer life. But are there any benefits to weak social ties?
Benefits of Weak Social Ties
Weak ties do not replace strong social ties. Deep trust and a sense of safety and belonging associated with our close relationship (strong ties) are vital for our well-being. However, multiple studies have found that weak social ties are also essential in many aspects of our lives.
Weak ties boost our mood and improve our mental health and well-being. People with large networks of weak ties are more resilient, less prone to stress and anxiety, and much happier.
Weak-tie conversations are often shorter, lighter, more relaxing and less demanding than conversations with people we know well.
Weak ties can help people feel a greater sense of belonging. They help us feel more secure, accepted, included and supported in our community. Weak ties can also provide practical support during difficult times.
Weak ties can help us access new information and opportunities because they are made up of people who are less like us and have access to different social circles and networks. This kind of information could be a vital source of occupational mobility.
Interactions with people on the periphery of our lives, such as neighbours, acquaintances, peers and fellow citizens, can influence our quality of life.
How to Improve Our Weak Ties
Opportunities to engage with others can come at any moment. Perhaps we see someone reading our favourite book on the train, where we can comment and start a conversation. Or we can get to our local gym ten minutes early and chat with the staff and instructors.
We can have a short but uplifting conversation with a librarian, check-out cashier or colleagues at a charity shop where we volunteer a few hours each week.
It can be scary to engage socially, but research shows that we rarely regret it. It’s not a big deal if we engage and it goes poorly. Openness to potential rejection makes us more resilient.
Research has revealed that regularly interacting with a wide variety of people, both weak and strong ties, enhances our happiness and well-being. Our spirits can lift from the friendly hello from a neighbour, the cheerful greeting from a local barista, or the comfort of a friendly waiter.
Social Interactions During Holidays and Special Occasions
Special occasions like Christmas can be a time to connect with friends, relatives and loved ones, relax, and indulge, but it can also be a source of stress and anxiety. Rather than dreading the challenging aspects of this period, there are ways to replace dysfunction and grouchiness with empowerment and cheerfulness. Here are some tips to help you get through those periods more peacefully.
Invent your own rituals: Christmas comes with many traditions and customs, but picking and choosing (or even inventing) the new ones that work for you is empowering. If you’re lucky enough to have time off, you deserve to do what you want. Fancy staying in your pyjamas all day, ordering a Chinese and watching back-to-back Drag Race? Go for it.
Choose who you mingle with. There’s no denying that some occasions can be incredibly stressful. For example, many find Christmastime more challenging than the rest of the year. Dealing with difficult (or toxic) people can be a key cause of stress and anxiety in these times. It would be best to avoid toxic people (if possible). It is incredibly empowering to avoid people who refuse to respect your boundaries or who put your mental health at risk. Instead, mix with those who bring you serenity, comfort and joy.
Don’t go into debt trying to show your love. Living debt-free is far more essential than a Christmas or birthday binge and overindulgence. After all, anyone worth having in your life wouldn’t want you to place yourself under financial stress just for Christmas.
Seize the chance to connect with yourself. Chances are you’re already doing a lot for other people, especially if you’re a parent, carer, or humanitarian activist. So, try to spare some time to reconnect with yourself. Some me-time is vital for rejuvenating and energising (recharging your social battery).
Draw personal boundaries and stick to them. Personal boundaries outline your limits, setting clear distinctions between your needs, emotions and personal space and those of others. Be selective about what events you attend and commitments you accept. Honour your needs and values, and accept that you can’t make everyone happy.
Choose Your Words Carefully
Choose your words as carefully as your gifts. A room full of people who may have drunk too much, with differing views, opinions and relationships, can be a recipe for conflict. A sarcastic, funny or passive-aggressive remark could be enough to tip the festive cheer into anger and hostility. However, choosing your words carefully can avoid reactive, unfriendly or aggressive language.
We can gracefully communicate more effectively by using language and nonverbal cues that show others we respect them and are sincerely willing to engage with their perspective. Research has found that if our language shows we're open to other’s perspectives, they are more likely to be open to ours (see Conversational Receptiveness for more information on this topic).
Remember that booze isn’t mandatory for socialising. While popping corks and cracking cans may be part of some celebrations, try to form a healthier relationship with alcohol. Cutting down would put you in good company. A new survey has shown that Three-quarters of young people who usually celebrate Christmas won’t drink alcohol this year.
