Unemployed and Feeling Defeated?
Unemployment Stress
Whether you’ve been laid off, downsized, or your contract has expired, losing your job is one of life’s most stressful experiences. Aside from the apparent financial anguish, the stress of losing your job can affect your mood, relationships, and overall mental and emotional health. Your job is often more than just how you earn a living. It influences how you and others see you as a person. Even a job you don’t love provides a social framework and gives your life structure, purpose, and meaning.
Losing your job can leave you feeling hurt, angry, and depressed. You might question your identity, feel sad about everything you’ve lost, and feel anxious about the future. Depending on the circumstances of your unemployment, you may feel betrayed by your employer, powerless over the direction of your life, or blame yourself for shortcomings or mistakes.
Unemployment stress and worry can feel overwhelming. But no matter how bleak things may seem, there is always hope. With time and the proper coping techniques, You can come to terms with all setbacks, ease your stress and anxiety, and move on.
It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by uncertainty about how your finances will recover or when you can find work. It’s important to know we’re not alone; thousands of other people face the same insecurities nowadays. Here are some guidelines that could help you cope with the stress of losing a job and dealing with an uncertain future.
Allow Yourself to Grieve
Grief is a natural response to loss, including losing your job. While everyone grieves differently, there are healthy and unhealthy ways to mourn the loss of a job. It might be easy to drink too much or binge on junk food. But these will only provide fleeting relief. But in the long term, it will make you feel even worse.
On the other hand, acknowledging your feelings and challenging your negative thoughts will help you deal with the loss. Accept the reality. Give yourself time to adjust. Grieving the loss of your job and adjusting to unemployment can take time.
Reach Out to Stay Strong
Your natural reaction at this difficult time may be to withdraw from friends and family out of shame or embarrassment. But don’t underestimate the importance of other people when you’re faced with stress and hardship. Social contact is nature’s antidote to stress. Nothing works better at calming your nervous system than talking face-to-face with a good listener.
The person you talk to doesn’t have to be able to offer solutions; they have to be a good listener, someone who will listen attentively without becoming distracted or passing judgement. Most people will be flattered that you trust them enough to confide in them, strengthening your relationship.
Develop New Relationships
When we lose a job, many of us also lose the friendships and social networks built in the workplace. But it’s never too late to expand your social network elsewhere. It can be crucial in helping you cope and may help you find a new job. Build new friendships. Take a class or join a group, such as a book club or sports team, to meet new people with common interests.
Most jobs are never advertised; they’re filled through networking (contacts and recommendations). Get involved in your community by volunteering, attending a local event, mentoring youngsters, supporting your church, mosque, synagogue, temple, gurdwara, etc. or becoming an activist, advocating for social, political, economic or environmental improvement.
Involve Your Family
Unemployment affects the whole family, so don’t try to shoulder your problems alone. Your family’s support can help you survive and thrive, even during this difficult time. Open up to your family. Whether it’s to ease the stress or cope with the grief of losing your job, now is the time to lean on the people who care about you, even if you take pride in being strong and self-sufficient.
Tell your family about your job search and explain how they can support you. Your family members may be worried about your stability and future, so give them a chance to express their concerns.
Make time for family fun. Set aside regular family fun time to enjoy each other’s company, let off steam, and forget about your unemployment troubles. This will help the whole family stay positive.
Help Children Cope
Children can be deeply affected by a parent’s unemployment. They need to know what has happened and how it will affect the family. However, avoid overburdening them with too many emotional or financial details. Keep an open dialogue with your children. They have a way of imagining the worst, so the truth can be far less devastating than what they imagine.
Make sure your children know it’s not anybody’s fault. Children may not understand the job market and may think you did something wrong. Or they might feel that somehow they are responsible or financially burdensome. They need reassurance in these matters.
Children want to feel like they are helping, and allowing them to contribute by taking a cut in their pocket money, deferring expensive purchases, or getting an after-school job can make them feel like they are part of the team.
Find Other Ways to Define Yourself
For many people, work shapes and defines their identities. When we lose our jobs, we also feel a loss of self. But it’s important to remember that unemployment doesn’t have to define us. It’s up to us to define ourselves, not the state of the economy or a company’s decision.
Pursue activities that bring purpose and joy to your life, such as volunteering, hobbies and relationships, which also define you as an individual, not your employment status. We all have different ways of experiencing meaning and joy, so choose something important to you. Try new, low-cost hobbies that enrich your spirit. Express yourself creatively. Write your memoirs, start a blog, or take up painting or photography. Spend time in nature, exercise a dog, or go fishing or camping.
Losing a job is a temporary setback. We need to learn from our experiences and try again. Unemployment could be a chance to reflect on what you want from life and rethink your career priorities. Volunteering, helping others or supporting an important cause is also an excellent way to maintain a sense of meaning and purpose in your life. Volunteering can also provide career experience, social support, and networking opportunities.
Take Care of Yourself
The stress of unemployment can take a toll on your well-being and leave you more vulnerable to mental health problems. Now more than ever, it’s essential to take care of yourself. Maintain a sensible balance in your life. Don’t let the job search consume you. Make time for fun, rest, and relaxation, whatever revitalises you. Your job search will be more effective if you are mentally, emotionally, and physically at your best.
Get Moving. If work commitments have prevented you from exercising regularly, make the time now. Exercise is a powerful antidote to stress. It also relaxes and relieves tension in the body. Exercise releases powerful endorphins, improves our mood, trim our waistline and physique, and boosts our self-confidence.
Eat well. Your diet may seem like the last thing you should worry about when facing the stress of losing your job and trying to make ends meet. But what you put in your body can significantly affect your energy levels and positivity. Minimise sugar and refined carbs. You may crave sugary snacks or comfort foods such as pasta, white bread, potatoes, or French fries, but these high-carbohydrate foods quickly crash your mood and energy. Reduce your intake of foods that can adversely affect your mood, such as caffeine, chemical preservatives, and hormones.
Eat more Omega-3 fatty acids to boost your mood. The best sources are fatty fish (salmon, herring, mackerel, anchovies, sardines), seaweed, flaxseed, and walnuts. Avoid nicotine. Smoking when you’re feeling stressed may seem calming, but nicotine is a powerful stimulant, leading to higher, not lower, levels of stress and anxiety. Drink alcohol in moderation. Alcohol may temporarily reduce worry, but too much can cause even greater anxiety as it wears off.
Get plenty of sleep. The quality and quantity of your sleep greatly influence your mood and productivity. Ensure you get between seven to eight hours of sleep every night. It will help you keep your stress levels under control and maintain your focus throughout your job search.
Practice relaxation techniques. Deep breathing, meditation, and yoga are powerful antidotes to stress. They also boost feelings of serenity and joy and teach you to stay calm and collected in challenging situations, including job interviews. Keep a daily routine. You can quickly lose motivation when you no longer have a job to report to. Treat your job search like a job, with a daily “start” and “end” time, regular times for exercise, and networking. Following a sensible routine will help you be more efficient and productive.
Create a job search plan. Break big goals into small, manageable steps to avoid getting overwhelmed. Set priorities instead of trying to do everything at once. If you’re not having luck in your job search, take some time to rethink your goals. List your strengths. List everything you like about yourself, including skills, personality traits, accomplishments, and successes. Write down projects you’re proud of, situations where you excelled, and skills you’ve developed. Revisit this list often to remind yourself of your strengths.
Focus on what you can control. You can’t control how quickly a potential employer calls you back or whether they decide to hire you. Rather than wasting your precious energy worrying about situations out of your control, focus on what you can control during unemployment, such as learning new skills, writing a great CV and cover letter, and setting up meetings with your contacts.
If you need mental health support, speak to your GP, contact the NHS talking therapies service directly or find a local mental health charity in your area.
If you or someone else is in danger, call 999 or go to A&E. You can also call NHS 111 for urgent mental health help.
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This post is inspired and adapted from an article (Aug 2024) by Melinda Smith. Since Jan 2021, Melinda has served as the Executive Director of HelpGuide.org, an independent nonprofit that runs one of the world’s leading mental health websites.
