Thank You!
Thank you!
“Thank you” is a powerful statement. It can boost our relationship and foster greater happiness. A new study on gratitude by a team of researchers from the University of Illinois (printed in The Journal of Positive Psychology) looked at the power of a “thank you” in a family context. At the start of the study, they examined perceived gratitude by asking participants how appreciated and valued they felt by their partners and children.
Participants also reported on how distressed they felt during the previous month, how overwhelmed they felt by their responsibilities, and how satisfied they were with their relationship. Finally, the participants answered questions about their children's emotional or behavioural problems and family chaos (how disorganised or stormy they generally felt at home).
The results revealed that women felt much less valued and appreciated by their partners and older children. Other demographic factors (e.g., age, education, occupation, income, ethnicity, and religion) did not make a significant difference. Gratitude from children was also associated with lower parenting stress, with appreciation from older children having a greater impact.
Similar studies also found that a simple “thank you” can go a long way in maintaining good relationships and mental health. A sense of being appreciated by our partners was associated with higher life satisfaction and lower psychological distress (though it did not reduce stress around parenting).
Saying "thank you" Could have substantial positive impacts. It can make people feel valued and appreciated, strengthen relationships, and foster goodwill. When people feel appreciated, they are more likely to be friendly and receptive to others, which can lead to more constructive interactions and a positive upward spiral of outcomes.
Some people say “thanks” for everything, such as writing “Thank you!” at the end of their email or text, regardless of the message's content. Expressing this kind of superficial and general gratitude doesn't reflect sincerity. When people show genuine gratitude, they must go beyond saying “Thank you”. They should be specific about what they are grateful for. For example, “Thank you for helping me load the boxes”.
Saying “thank you” is a private and intimate gesture of gratitude, and it will be far more effective if we explain why we are thankful for someone's support or contribution rather than just offering general, non-specific appreciation. Moreover, a personalised experience is more memorable than a generic one, as it creates a degree of clarity that helps to imprint the encounter in our minds.
Researchers suggest that people who don't express gratitude miss out on a significant source of fulfilment. They have shown that “gratitude correlates with positive feelings, prosocial behaviour and physical health and can enhance well-being”.
Researchers distinguish between the “state” and “trait” gratitude. In state-gratitude, we're thankful at the moment, but do not necessarily have a grateful attitude. In trait-gratitude, we're always grateful; we have a grateful attitude. It's a trait of gratitude that corresponds to the benefits of higher well-being and overall happiness.
The Trait of Gratitude
Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what we have received/achieved (tangible or conceptual). It is a way for people to focus on and appreciate what they have rather than what they lack.
Gratitude is a quality, trait or attitude that helps us avoid taking our blessings and resources (people or things) for granted.
Gratitude is a character strength and a universal virtue (a desirable human quality).
Gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. It helps people experience more positive emotions, enjoy their experiences, improve their overall health, cope better with adversity, and build stronger, more fulfilling relationships.
Research has shown that people who kept a daily or weekly gratitude journal (and remained grateful) were more optimistic, felt better about their lives, and had fewer visits to their general practitioner (GP).
Staff and employees who received genuine messages of gratitude felt more motivated, worked harder, and were more productive than those who did not.
A study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (by Adam Grant and Francesca Gino) reported how being thanked induced feelings of personal competence and the perception of being valued. They found that participants who were thanked for their efforts felt valued and were encouraged to provide more help in the future. This report affirmed the general intuition that saying “Thank You” can inspire actions that promote cooperation and that a little appreciation goes a long way.
The virtue of gratitude grows stronger with use and practice. Here are some ways we can develop and expand our gratitude:
Keep a gratitude journal or write and personally deliver a letter of gratitude.
Count your blessings, and mentally thank someone.
More importantly, ensure you always show your appreciation for people who serve you in any way. Always say “Please” and “Thank you”.
